For example, this sample of 60-year-old men reports that it is acceptable to fantasize about women in their 20s, which the rule would say is unacceptable. But fantasies, of course, are not generally subject to public scrutiny and the rule is only designed to calculate what is socially acceptable in the public eye—so this discrepancy is not necessarily a failure of the rule. This age difference calculator determines the age gap in relationships or the simple time difference between the births of two people. Below the form you can find out how the calculations are made and check an example. Those goals usually don’t match your partners when there is a big age difference between you two.

Rachel, 48, told The List that her lifestyle and personality fit better with her younger partner, Alex. “I’ve just always been very energetic, very youthful, and very active,” she said. “So, being with a younger guy has suited me better because he can keep up with me more than a lot of guys my age.” Age-gap relationships, those with a significant age difference between partners, are controversial.

Age Gap Relationship Trends Over Time

The age gap relationships psychology is actually very optimistic about them, which promises great things for your own romance. The letters are overwhelmingly from women, and they are, without exception, intelligent, thoughtful and self-aware. Many of them have weighed the pros and cons and have decided whether their relationship is worth the risk. Most are realistic about what the future may hold but believe that love will make it worthwhile. A 2014 study of 3000 people showed that married couples are more likely to divorce the higher the age gap.

“[She’s] kept me hip to the times, I’m glad I don’t walk around not understanding TikTok or Harry Styles, but I guess I still say ‘hip to the times,’ so maybe she hasn’t helped at all,” he joked. “On a grander scale, she has made me more socially conscious and open-minded.” Another frequent assumption about age-gap relationships is that the older partner has more power in the relationship and is thus manipulating the younger partner. While this may be true in some situations, the couples we spoke to made it clear it isn’t always. Aaron Conley, 45, has been with Katrina Pietraskiewicz, 34, for 12 years. He told The List that people often see the older person in an age-gap relationship as “some kind of creep out there searching for young babes.” But this wasn’t true with him and Katrina.

When does the age gap become a problem?

A woman has revealed how she met her now-husband when he was her boss – with the two striking up a secret relationship under their colleagues’ noses. “I’m sorry but we are not sorry. And for all of you who can’t deal with it maybe this helps,” McPhee wrote in a lengthy caption. “I’ve struggled with weight my whole 20s and 30. I’ve gone up and down 10 times over. Does that make you feel better? There is nothing wrong with that – most people do,” she wrote. At first James was worried about what people might think about the 15-year age gap. Back in November, Stella, 18, flew into Essex from Italy to meet Arg’s friends and family for the first time.

David, 56, and Christina Rodriguez, 36, encounter the same assumption frequently. As a result, many people think “Christina is a gold digger or married for money or status,” David said. “Also, that I’m unable to impress girls my age, so I had to look for a younger and more impressionable woman.” However, they clarified that this is not the case.

Experience matters

Men, meanwhile, have evolved a preference for younger women because their youth is a signal for fertility, and over eons and eons, men have better reproductive success when they partner with women who can bear children. Evolutionary psychology explains why men are usually older in heterosexual age-gap relationships. Stay in the loop on all things skincare with our weekly newsletter.

Rush Hour Crush – love (well, lust) is all around us

Even if men tend to be just slightly older, we all know many different-sex couples where the age difference is not only wide but also opposes that which is expected by evolutionary psychology. In other words, we know couples in which women are substantially older than their partners. Consider Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra, who is 10 years his senior, Hugh Jackman’s wife Deborra-Lee Furness who is 13 years older than him, or Madonna’s current boyfriend who is 35 years younger than her.

65% of men say it’s fine for a woman to date someone 10+ years younger compared to 56% of women who say the same. While men and women prefer to date someone their age, they are still open to having a relationship with someone 10 to 15 years older or younger. Age-gap couples are more likely to break up if they believe their loved ones and community disapprove of their relationship.

There is an unofficial rule that exists, even though nobody seems to know where it originated. The name of this guideline is “half plus seven,” Take the age of the person, divide it in half, and then add seven years. Having said that, a guy at 41 squiring a woman of 23 is far more controversial than a 71-year-old man dating a 53-year-old woman. Eliminate the touchy-feely stuff about age being “just a number.” That is what people say to justify behavior that they know is problematic.

First, think about the future as well, do you really want to be spending your 40s and 50s taking care of him, then feeling empty without anyone for your last years? Watch 90 day fiancé, a lot of them are middle aged men going for women in their early-mid 20s and you can see some of the struggles that they go through. Couples negotiate all sorts of differences as they figure out if they can form a sustainable, happy relationship. An age gap may be one dimension of your relationship, but it’s unlikely to define it. Indeed, a recent poll showed that most Americans consider love , commitment , and companionship as important reasons for marrying—and these have very little to do with age. Age-gap couples report experiencing general social disapproval of their relationships more than similar-aged peers do (Lehmiller & Agnew, 2006).